Hello everyone! I had planned to write to you this evening and tell you all about my vacation BUT…
Today I got butterflies. And my eyes twinkled. And I blushed. And I’ve decided I am going to tell you about that instead. The story of the bush party can wait.
I got back to the city few days ago but since I have been gone for over a month, I had so much to take care of that I didn’t really have much time to catch up on anything personal. If only we could go on holiday and never return. I don’t mean move to another place, but sort of being perpetually on holiday – that would be so awesome. Then you’d never have to go home and find that bills have piled up at your door and that a nice, grey blanket of dust is has slowly been thickening over all of your things.
Classes have already started. I find out about my credit transfer really soon. Things in general have been going really great. So far, every single day has given me something to be proud of and smile about – one of them is that I came out of last semester with a 4.0 GPA as well as commendations on my current research. Having people who are not your close friends and who do literary research for a living call your puny MA thesis things like “fascinating” and “superlative” makes you feel like you can crumble entire mountains in your bare fist.
Today, I met a new professor. I have known of him for some time. Other people had told me that he was smart and a really great teacher, but I had never seen or met him. I always thought his name was quite nice whenever I saw it in the course listings. He has a dreamy sort of name and I had always wondered who’s face it belonged to. But oh my darling readers. Nothing could have prepared me for what happened in the conference room today.
So I had registered for the course partly in preparation for my comprehensive exam and partly because I wanted to try and see if this prof could somehow get me interested in subject matter I have avoided like the plague since I became a student of literature – the British Renaissance period.
I’m sitting at the massive table, with my back to the door, catching up with my classmates while also tackling a chair with HORRIFIC lumbar support when I hear someone say, “Hello everybody.”
I could have sworn that it was a Mr. Darcy who said it. But I swivelled around in my chair, and no readers. It wasn’t a Mr. Darcy.
Towering over me was a Thranduil. I was staring straight into the piercing, emerald eyes of a fucking elf king! I’m not joking here people. Imagine the realm of Lord of the Rings. Got it? Now imagine the elven kingdom. Are you with me? Now imagine a MAGNIFIGLORIOUS elven king walked straight out of the bloody elven kingdom in Lord of the fucking Rings and stood in your doorway right now. Do you feel me? Do you?
The dreamy fucking name. I should have known.
Butterflies swarmed in my tummy at first sight and that almost NEVER happens – but then again I have never met an elven king before. I was completely flustered. I could have fallen out of that stupid chair. Inconsiderate bastard.
Then he spoke some more (oh that beautiful, melodious, gentle accent) and things got SO MUCH WORSE!
He was so tall. SO TALL!
And he was nice. SO NICE!
And his smile was so gentle. SO GENTLE!
And his features were sharp and chiselled. Like a true High elf.
And his movements and gestures were so graceful. Like a true High elf.
And he was intimidatingly intelligent and witty. Like a true High elf.
I have never been so interested in the history of England during the Renaissance period.
And then he looked right at me and asked me to speak and I blushed, looked down at my notebook and stuttered an explanation of my research.
My elven king read me a few lines of poetry (GOD CAN HE READ POETRY!) and that’s when I knew my eyes had started to twinkle and I couldn’t look at him any more. So I looked at his long, slender, elven king hands.
That’s when, my darling readers, I saw the FUCKING WEDDING RING! INCONSIDERATE BASTARD!
The magic dissipated in an instant and the spell was broken.
Oh readers! Alas, ’tis true when they say that all the elven kings are taken! (DAMMIT WHY!?)
Methinks this semester is going to be a sexily tough one.