So I took my half dose this morning and I am still a frikkin Energizer bunny. Except I’m not doing the drumming thing. Let me make it a little more clear.
First of all Nook and I are now officially fighting. He is laying bed trying to read as I write this. I will tell you about that in a minute.
A few hours ago, Nook came over to take a nap. I decided maybe I would try to nap too, but as I am as restless as someone waiting for their HIV results to come out, my thoughts race when I try to be still.
The other day I wondered about the song “Woman in Love” for about half an hour. No, I wasn’t listening to the song. That part where she sings “It’s a right I defend, over and over again,” just popped into my head and for ages I wondered why she has to defend her love. And why does she have to do it over and over again? Isn’t that tiresome for her? I would most likely leave if I had to defend it over and over again. What douchebag she must be dating.
Today, as Nook tried to nap, I made up a set of rules for a hypothetical threesome. It went something like this:
Me: I will not do anything to her but maybe I will let her do stuff to me.
Me: And you can’t be attracted to her.
N: How am I supposed to have a threesome with you if I’m not attracted to her?
Me: You don’t have to like her. But ok, she has to be pretty.
N: Well no shit.
Me: But she can’t be prettier than me.
N: Why are we even discussing this?
Me: I don’t know.
After that I let him nap and kept my list to myself.
Now, I was just playing online poker. I happen to be a very good poker player. As I am quite close to broke this month I thought, wouldn’t it be cool if I took a hundred bucks off the rent money and went to the casino and won like a thousand dollars? Yes. I am that confident about my poker skills.
Me: What if I took a hundred bucks to the casino and won like, a thousand dollars?
N: You’d be solving one problem, but I think you’d also acquire another.
N: A gambling problem.
Me: No, but I mean I would do it just once.
Me: Silence….OH!!! What if I stole like 20 grand from my father and made like $5 million dollars. Do you think he’d be pissed?
N: I think he would.
January crosses the hallway to the kitchen.
Me: Hey January! If I stole 20 grand from dad and made $5 million dollars do you think he’d be pissed at me or would he be grateful?
January: He’d fucking kill you.
Me: But why? (Then I put on an accent) Fa milyen dollaz!
Nook: Please baby I’m trying to concentrate.
Me: Fa milyen dollaz!
Me: Fa milyen dollaz!
Nook: Baby please shut up!
Me: GASP! HOW DARE YOU! I AM TELLING THE BLOGOSPHERE! WE ARE NOW FIGHTING!
Also…I am confessing this only because I am embarrassed about it and I hope confessing to the internets will make me stop doing it out of shame. Remember how I said that my meds were making me pick at my head until it bled and then I’d pick the scabs?
My name is November and I have six bald spots on my head. I now eat my scabs too.
I know. I’m so gross.