I was never very good at comebacks.
I always knew exactly what to say or what I would have said afterwards, but never at the time. Then I think about the situation and decide, “IT WOULD HAVE BEEN SO BADASS HAD I SAID ‘Blah diddley blah diddley blah,’ AND JUST WALKED AWAY!”
I am one of those.
However, when you’re ready with the comeback, it’s too late so you have to wait until next time a similar insult is directed at you. At Amber’s wonderful suggestion of plotting against the doorman, I have carefully selected some comebacks for the next time he asks me, “November, do you know that you are getting fat?”
1) Did you call your house yet? I heard your child is missing.
2) Did you look in the mirror this morning?
3) Do you know that your wife is sleeping with the night shift doorman?
4) I’m not surprised. Just the sight of you makes me feel bloated.
5) *Evil eye silent glare*
Now as for plotting against the doorman, the only awful thing I can think of to do to him is to collect Lunatic’s poo for a couple of days and store it in ziplock bags to keep it fresh. When I have enough then I’ll scatter it about the front of the building during the darkest hours of the night. Lunatic’s poo is potent I tell you. It reeks to high heaven.
That is all I have for now, but I am open to suggestions.
As for my new pills – I have now been put on 300 mg of Seroquel a day while my antidepressant has been reduced yet again.
It has very pretty turquoise packaging.
I thought that since the 50 mg pill is salmon pink then maybe the 300 mg pill would be the same color as the packaging and we all know that you must always choose the blue pill because blue pills are good and red pills take you into the rabbit hole.
As I am already in the rabbit hole, blue pills, I believe, are the way to go. Also, because Morpheus says so.
The pill is a boring white and now my pillbox is rather colorless and unexciting.
What is absolutely fun about the 300 mg is that the past two days I have woken up brain dead and very slow. I can’t complete thoughts, can’t put on my clothes, can’t remember my name (ok just kidding) but you know what I mean…I feel like something is gripping my brain in certain spots.
What is even more fun is that on day one the kids needed directions to get somewhere and somehow managed to get me into the car with them. Let’s just say a trip that should have taken about an hour, took the entire day because they were listening to my doped up directions while I giggled in the back seat.
I know this morning brain deadness will stop happening soon (a week or so I am told) and it sort of wears off some time around 5 pm, so I am going to take advantage of it.
FYI. This post took two days to finish. Yes. THAT brain dead.
PS. Thank you Amber for the award I am going to put them all together in one housekeeping post ASAP.